?Contradictions?

What is time anyway? Do you ever find that you’re just tired of it? What does that even mean? How can I be tired of change and at the same time tired of the same old thing? I seem to have an insatiable desire for stillness & motion, peace of mind & intellectual stimulation, community & at the same time solitude…the seemingly contradicting cravings go on.

I feel alone in a crowd and yet invaded by my own solitude; too tired to sleep, bored of my busyness. What’s the deal?

I feel as though a small yet intricately essential element of my logic has been broken, not that it’s broken beyond repair, but it’s definitely dysfunctional at the moment.

I recently finished the book “The Ball and The Cross” by G.K. Chesterton (an excellent book that I would highly recommend and never claim to understand!), and came to see that the center of Christianity, the cross, is a paradox. Why would I be surprised that I have conflicting ideas, when the fundamental doctrines of our faith are founded on conflicting ideas; not the sort that truly conflict, but the sort that George MacDonald would say requires the task “to combine two propositions, both apparently true, either at once or in different remembered moods, and to find the point in which their invisible converging lines would unite in one, revealing a truth higher than either and differing from both; though so far from being opposed to either, that it was that whence each derived its life and power.” I’m finding that by meditating on the person of Christ, the Word that became flesh, fully man & fully God, the perfect Lamb that became sin for us, I am resolved to these sorts of “two propositions” as, not illogical, but super-logical meaning that it is “higher” than logic yet at the same time not opposed to it!

My sister gave me Isaiah 26:3 to think about the other day and I’m beginning to think it holds the answer.

“You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.”